i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
