:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
