Whoa Z and x make the same sound
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
