I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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