Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
