ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
