and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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