We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
