Don't you send me to vm
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just want to make out with him forever
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
