I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
