i dedicated my morning wood to you.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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