Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
