Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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