She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
