Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
