I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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