Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
