you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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