found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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