So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
