K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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