I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Who died my cat blue again?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
