Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
