I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
