They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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