when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
