Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
