Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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