You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
