is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
