Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
