worst night to have a conscience
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
