You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
