I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
