At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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