Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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