Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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