I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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