i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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