Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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