do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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