the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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