i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
