If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
