This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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