well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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