i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I can't put those talents on a resume
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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