It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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