I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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