I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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